Vayeitzei: L’ eloy Nishmas Avraham Zev ben Yaakov – Dr. Abe Chames
Chofetz Chaim on Parshas Vayeitzei
In Parshas Vayeitzei, the passuk states, “Vayichar l’Yaakov… vayomer l’Lavan mah peesh’i mah chatasi- And Yaakov became angered… and he said to Lavan, ‘What is my transgression? What is my sin?” (31:36). After working for Lavan for twenty years, Yaakov was finally leaving. Yet Lavan chased after him, accusing Yaakov, who had been the most honest man, of stealing his idols. Based on this incident, Chazal teach us that better the strictness of the avos, forefathers, than the appeasement of their children. Yaakov Avinu, in the heat of his anger, merely said, “What is my transgression? What is my sin?” Dovid HaMelech however, Yaakov’s descendant, when faced with the opportunity to kill Shaul displayed appeasement yet exclaimed, “Ki im Hashem yigafunu ei yomo yavoh- Hashem will strike him with illness, or his day will come and he will die” (Shmuel I 26:10). Remarkably, even when the avos were angry they still spoke in a soft and gentle manner.
Consequently, the Chofetz Chaim learns from Yaakov Avinu, that a person should not sustain an argument, even if he is right. Yaakov was correct and innocent, yet he did not continue his argument with Lavan.
In Parshas Korach, the Torah forbids us to sustain an argument, saying, “V’lo yihyeh k’Korach v’cha’adaso- One should not be like Korach and his assembly” (Bamidbar 17:5). The Chofetz Chaim rights that if a person finds himself in a situation where he is forced to argue, he should learn from Yaakov who even when he was arguing, angry and correct, kept his composure and refrained from shouting insults at Lavan. Yaakov said simply, “What is my transgression? What is my sin?”
Acquiring the ability to respond appropriately during an argument takes much practice and self-control. In order to ease this challenge it is worth considering the Gemorah in Gittin: “Those people who are quiet and don’t respond at the time of an argument are beloved to Hashem like the strength of a setting sun.” We must try to always refrain from arguing and from getting angry and in this merit may we help bring the ultimate redemption in Yerushalayim.
Good Shabbos! |
